When the Sun disappears, and the world is plunged into darkness, everything can feel like the end. We can only brave the shadows if we believe the Sun will shine again…
It’s the little things that mean so much. We want to believe it is the big moment, the apex of life, that defines everything - and sometimes, it is. A battle, a heroic stand, a villainous act, an act of despair… they can all so overwhelmingly define our selves to others, all else is forgotten. But for most of us, it is not our passing that defines us, but our living. The day to day of love, the cup of coffee made every morning, the prayer at the dinner table, the parting goodnight;
it makes the sudden departure seem all the more jarring. There is no warning, no hint of what is coming. One day, life is putting along at its pace, the comfortable hum of the ordinary miracles singing along; then the next day, the world still turns, but the miracle is simply…
gone.
She entered our lives like the Sun rising every day; predictably warm and cheerful, and we just assumed the Sun would always be there. She became my constant companion, always ready with a cup of coffee or a snack, always returning with each day. Life was filled with the everyday miracles; wildflowers, weather, and wonder. A bowl of cereal was the height of joy, a comfy couch was the height of luxury, and a backporch swing was the height of adventure.
It was from that backporch swing we experienced the summit of her Earthbound experience, the fullness of the Natural and Celestial Worlds combining. We watched as the Sun disappeared bit by bit, until at last we hoped we could see the fabled Corona of the Total Eclipse -
but the Sun was simply gone.
We couldn’t see it anywhere; no Corona, no glow - the Sun disappeared from the sky without a trace, the mystery of the Light gone.
She stood laughing in the prairie grasses, waving at the sky, rejoicing in the union of Sun, Moon and Sky; still taking pictures of what couldn’t be seen, until at last that moment of Miracles, when the sliver of light became a beacon once again lighting the world. We held our hands up and rejoiced, praying to God in Thanksgiving for this gift, to be able to experience such a wonderous event - then immediately began checking our photos. She began to squeal:
“I got it! I got it Aunt Becki! My camera caught it!”
And there it was, what couldn’t be seen by the natural eye - in all its glory, still there behind the moon, the Eternal Sun.
Eight days later, she was gone.
Epilepsy seized her, as it always had, but this time she was alone in the back of the house. By the time I reached her, everything was cold and dark. The light and warmth of life was gone…
I cannot see her. I can no longer feel the warmth, and my Darkness is real -
but she is still there, the Warmth Eternal, the Light Everlasting. The Sun will return again, and she will return with Him, the Light of Life splitting the sky to open a new Horizon.
This is the passage that defines her life, the presence of Light even in the Darkness, the promise of the Return -
the Memory of the Sun.
There are no words. So sorry.
A beautiful eulogy.
So touching. What a wonderful tribute to her.